


fucking finally!

by heycb97



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: ChanJeong, Jeongin - Freeform, M/M, Might write a sequel, bang chan - Freeform, fluff too, i.n - Freeform, just chanjeong crushing on each other, kinda angst if you squint, not rated lol, skz - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-09
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:46:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26911615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heycb97/pseuds/heycb97
Summary: jeongin has been sleeping less.chan is always ready to help.
Relationships: Bang Chan & Yang Jeongin | I.N, Bang Chan/Yang Jeongin | I.N
Comments: 6
Kudos: 63





	fucking finally!

**Author's Note:**

> hi! this is my first fanfic that i am posting publicly. please enjoy and leave comments and suggestions! thank you! <3
> 
> \+ lowercase intended
> 
> rewritten: 01082021

a soft groan left jeongin’s lips at the sound of his alarm ringing inside the quiet room. a sore indication that it was the start of yet again a long and tiring day. he wants nothing but to stay in bed and reclaim the hours of sleep he had lost over the course of weeks, but his tight schedule wouldn’t let him. 

running on barely three hours of shut-eye, he immediately rolled his body across the bed, face buried deep in his pillows as he let his hand mindlessly fumbled to hit the snooze button of the annoyingly loud device currently sitting on the nightstand, hoping to spend more minutes back on his dreamland.

he was tired, _very tired_. and sleeping, for him, has been quite challenging, especially when something, someone, has been plaguing his mind for the past week or so. 

it wasn’t the kind of thoughts that sprouted out of nowhere, but the ones he has been desperately trying to bury at the back of his mind and never to be revisited; quieting it down as his last attempt to keep his own sanity intact. however, all his efforts were futile, seeing how it successfully kept him awake until the wee hours for days now. very unlikely for someone who was usually the first person to hit the bed at night, and the first one to be up and lounge around the kitchen or living room.

jeongin forced himself out of his bed when the sound of his alarm blared for the second time. he was tempted to go back. _since when did the mattress felt so warm and comfortable?_ but he has a busy day ahead; a full-day of practising in preparation for their group’s comeback. and knowing how crucial this time is for the overall performance of their team, he can’t afford to slack off. plus, he doesn’t want to receive an earful if he missed a single day.

he groggily made his way out of his room, away from the comfort of his bed. each step he took felt way too heavy that he ended up dragging his feet like a zombie. at this point, he could pass as one: sporting a rather pale complexion with dark bags adorning his under-eyes. the only difference is that his brain could still comprehend things, albeit slow due to the lack of his sleep. 

his first stop was the kitchen. he needed something to drink after realizing how dry his throat this whole time; and something to eat to fuel his body through the rough day. but with his mind drifting elsewhere, he failed to notice the presence of another person having his own breakfast. after all, it was very unlikely of jeongin to not greet any of his hyungs the moment he stepped out of his room first thing in the morning. the unusual behaviour of the younger earned a confused look and a questioning hum from the aforementioned. 

“good morning, innie,” the said guy greeted rather cheerfully than jeongin would have liked. still, jeongin responded with a quiet “morning, channie hyung.” 

“are you okay, innie?” chan inquired as he stood up from his seat and made his way to the maknae. he watched the younger with worried eyes, not missing the atypical response he received and the seemingly dazed state jeongin is currently in. the face that was usually all sunshine and rainbows now replaced with nothing but worn-out smile.

whatever it is that’s bothering jeongin, it must be something serious for him to react this way, chan deduced.

“you look sick. do you want to take the day off? i’m pretty sure we won’t have anything new for today, anyway. just polishing what we have learned.” he added while placing the back of his hand over jeongin’s forehead to check his temperature.

“i’m fine, hyung. reaㅡ” jeongin tried to argue. worrying his hyungs, especially chan, has always been something that the younger was trying to avoid. the older already has a lot on his plate and jeongin doesn’t want to add more to his responsibilities. but chan was having none of it.

“oh, shut up. you look like you’re going to pass out any second. sit down first and let me fix you some breakfast, then we can decide after that,” chan replied firmly, the authority reeking in his voice and jeongin can’t help but waver, knowing all too well that arguing further would be useless. had jeongin been more awake, he would have noticed how worried the elder was. 

“did you just get home from the studio?” jeongin queried when his eyes landed on the clothes from yesterday the older was still wearing, and the laptop and some of his stuff messily sprawled on the other side of the table. chan answered with a hum as he peeled himself from the younger and made his way across the room. the elder’s response wasn’t surprising, to say the least. after all, he has the reputation of overworking himself and rarely sleeping, albeit denying it all the time. and it worries jeongin (and the others) to the brim. 

jeongin plopped down on the seat across chan’s as he watched the older with fond eyes. his lips curling into a rather sweet smile when chan finally placed a bowl of cereal and a plate of toast before him. then, chan settled himself back on his previous seat to continue devouring his half-eaten bowl of cereal.

chan has always been like this. protective and loving. he always makes sure to put the members’ wellbeing first before his own. he has the biggest heart in the whole world. and sometimes, it annoys jeongin. not because the former was overbearing but because the younger could see that sometimes, chan is forgetting to take care of himself. and he is extremely worried and he wants nothing but to take care of his hyung. 

it doesn’t help that lately, jeongin has been having thoughts, _weird thoughts_ , about the exact person sitting across him. oftentimes, he would find himself wondering about certain things that he knew shouldn’t. like how it would feel like to hold his chan hyung close and the gesture meaning something more than the platonic hyung-maknae moments; the cuddles and the hand-holding. 

even worse, his mind would often wander around the dangerous notion of how his lips would taste like. jeongin had already felt chan’s lips on his skin a couple of times before, when the elder thought it would be fun to give him cheek kisses. nevertheless, it didn’t stop jeongin from wondering; brain beleaguered with questions: _would it be soft? rough? chapped? would he taste sweet, like candies? or minty, like their toothpaste?_

jeongin knew that he was skating on thin ice that could break any moment and if he’s not careful enough, he would drown. 

the younger only realized that he has been spacing out when he felt a gentle tap on his shoulder, chan’s kind smile on full-display before the elder motioned at the untouched breakfast laid out in front of jeongin.

“is there something bothering you?” chan carefully inquired, making sure not to cross any line that would make the younger uncomfortable. “you know you can always talk to me about anything, right? i am here to listen to you, innie.” 

“it’s nothing, hyung. just tired,” jeongin offered the male with his usual bright smile that didn’t reach his eyes in his attempt to leave out the topic. furthermore, he doesn’t want to expose his big and pathetic crush over the male before him. just, not yet. “where are the other hyungs?”

“well, they already went out to do their own activities. everyone agreed to practice around the afternoon though,” chan shrugged as he chugged down the cup of water until the last drop. then he glanced at the younger who now has an unreadable expression on his face. “wait? don’t tell me you forgot?”

of course, jeongin completely forgot about that agreement. after all, he was far too distracted and far too consumed with his own trivial thoughts to care about anything. out of frustration, the younger can’t help but shove a few spoonfuls of cereals inside his mouth, soft and incoherent grunts leaving his lips. 

chan watched in amusement, emitting a soft chuckle in the process before he reached out to pat the younger’s head. “slow down, innie. it’s still pretty early. we can just go together in the afternoon. how about that?” 

chan’s attempt to reassure the male did nothing to jeongin’s almost burnt-out state. instead of feeling better, the younger felt his own feelings eating him up, devouring him whole. it burned and he wants nothing but for it to stop. within seconds, jeongin found his façade breaking, exposing his whole being to the brim. his tears leaked, like a broken faucet beyond repair. 

of course, it wasn’t only because of his unrequited feelings for his beloved hyung, but also the pent up frustration that has been building up inside him; the emotions he has been silencing to not worry his hyungs. it was the exasperation that stemmed from _his school, his career, his singing and dancing; the expectations, the fears of not being accepted_.

alarmed, chan sprang up from his seat and made his way to jeongin’s side, enveloping the younger’s shaking frame in his tight embrace. he offered his chest for the younger to sob all the worries and feelings locked inside him. he gently brushed the younger’s back, lips pressing tender kisses on the crown of the weeping male’s head that effectively soothed him. 

it wasn’t the first time chan saw his maknae broke down. in fact, seeing someone does so was nothing new to him. it was one of the ways they found to relieve their stress from the highly demanding job. but such occurrence with jeongin is rare, knowing how bright and cheerful the mentioned is almost all the time. jeongin wasn’t the best at keeping his emotions at bay, but he isn’t someone who let things affect him this much.

chan waited patiently until jeongin calmed down, until his sobs subsided into sniffles and hiccup-like. and when he’s sure that younger was comfortable enough to put a bit of gap between their bodies, chan offered him a cup of water. the elder didn’t say a thing just yet, but he made sure to flash the same kind smile he was sporting all the time; one that promises _‘everything is going to be okay’_. 

the comfortable silence that none of the two was brave enough to break enveloped them. but that didn’t stop the elder from making his presence known, fingers gently caressing the younger’s form.

“i’m sorry, hyung. just really frustrated...” jeongin managed to mumble in between his snivelling, quite flustered from the sudden outburst as he concentrated on playing with the hem of his shirt. a habit he developed when he’s nervous. 

“it’s okay, baby. how about we finish breakfast up then we can cuddle?” chan hummed questioningly as he ever so gently squeezed the younger’s frame before completely pulling away from the embrace. 

jeongin, albeit already missing the elder’s warmth, can’t help but blush at the pet name. surely, it’s not something unusual since jisung has been calling everyone his ‘baby’ and jeongin had been a victim of the habit a couple of times. but this is different. It’s _his_ chan hyung who called him that.

he knew it was irrational of him to put meaning behind the words that should remain platonic, that he has been setting himself up for the inevitable heartbreak, and jeongin wanted nothing but to slap himself from letting his heart do the flipping thing. but he couldn’t really stop himself from doing so, not when the promise of cuddles was given; the only way he could be close to the person he desperately wants to be with, and he was not about to let the opportunity pass up. 

jeongin is quite glad that the elder didn’t push him to talk. nevertheless, he knew that one way or another, he’ll have to tell the elder. because at the end of the day, keeping a secret is no use when it’s chan. he’ll find out sooner or later. the elder knew the members all too well to not notice if there is something wrong. and sometimes, jeongin hates that.

he forced himself to down the remaining food he has in a matter of minutes. despite losing his appetite, jeongin doesn’t want to disappoint and worry his hyung even further. and the whole time, chan didn’t leave his side, constantly rubbing his back or playing with his hair, just to let jeongin know that he is right there.

“I’m done, hyung,” jeongin croaked out. his voice sounded so small and broken, and chan can’t help but press another kiss on his forehead.

_surely, it’s okay for friends to kiss foreheads, right?_

“how about you wait up in your room while i clean this up and change into something new?” chan suggested as he started collecting the utensils they used. and as much as jeongin doesn’t want to be away from the elder, he nodded. 

he tried occupying himself with his phone by playing random games he had downloaded long ago while waiting for the male. and in no time, he heard a knock followed by a quiet creaking of the door, revealing a bang chan clad in a different black shirt and a basketball shorts.

jeongin briefly wondered how someone could look this good even without putting any effort, because _hell, chan looks good in every possible way._

the sight earned a sheepish smile on jeongin’s lip as he tried to hold back his eagerness to just jump into the male’s arms right there and then. _even just like this_ , he thought to himself. _i’ll take every chance i could get to have him close to me._

within seconds the male made his appearance, jeongin felt his bed dipped from the added weight, strong, and probably the most comfortable, arms snaking around his waist and pulling him flush against the broad and warm chest of his hyung. right then, jeongin thought that he would finally feel at peace; that he could rest up without his thoughts bothering him.

 _but oh boy was he wrong._ not when chan is holding him like the younger was about to disappear anytime soon; not when chan is pressing tender kisses which started from jeongin’s head, down to his cheek, then back to his forehead. it amplified the spark of hope he had been trying to silence. and for a moment, jeongin was so sure that what he had wasn’t unrequited, that chan felt the same way too; that somehow, the universe finally aligned and answered his prayers.

the spark of hope dwindled just as fast as it was augmented when jeongin’s brain decided to betray him. there came the thoughts, the self-doubts and insecurities, circling his mind and slowly eating him up the second time around. but this time, it was too painful that he thought he could die.

 _maybe this would only stop once i tell chan everything_ , jeongin thought. _what do i have to lose?_

the fear of having their relationship changing for the worse has always been there ever since he realized his feelings for the elder, but he couldn’t care less. from years he had known chan, jeongin knew how much the former valued harmonious relationships with the people around him. and even if things ended up changing, jeongin would be able to move forward without having to ask himself the deadly question, _‘what if'_.

jeongin didn’t realize he was clutching unto the elder’s shirt so tightly his knuckles turned white. only becoming aware of it when he felt chan’s gentle hand rubbing against his fists. throughout, the elder remained silent as if he’s waiting for the younger to speak first without having to ask the necessary questions, and jeongin knew. with a quiet sigh, he finally called the elder’s name, only to hesitate for a bit. _is he really ready?_

“it’s okay, baby. you can take your time. i will be here,” chan reassured as he gently pulled the younger’s frame closer.

“hyung, iㅡ i… don’t know where to start so please…” jeongin took a deep breath before he pressed his face against the elder’s chest, successfully hiding it away from his view. “please let me finish first, okay?”

chan responded with a soft hum and nodded a bit before resting his chin atop the younger’s head.

“i’m really scared. and i really do not want to tell you because i do not want things to change… my thoughts have been keeping me awake these days and it’s tiring me out. i don’t know how or when it started but it really scared me… i do not want to lose you and i don’t want things to change between us. And i just…” jeongin rambled all the whole chan blinked in sheer confusion. nevertheless, he kept his promise to let the male finish first.

“i like you so much, hyung. hell, like is even an understatement because i know that i am so in love with you.”

the sudden confession brought a rather huge smile on chan’s face. his heart swelling with so much happiness because _what the fuck._ After months of walking on a tightrope, trying to keep his own heart under his sleeves and keeping his emotions in check, all from crushing on his maknae, he finally got an answer to the exact questions that have been keeping him awake, much like jeongin.

“you have been nothing but kind and sweet and you always look after me. always making sure that i am okay. you do things that tug my heart into the right places and i justㅡ i’m sorry hyung. i couldn’t help but fall for you…”

“i’m not even sure if you like guys and i know that i am just like others to you. and it’s fine if you don’t feel the same way. i just really need to get this off my chest because it has been bothering me. you don’t have to say anything. i’ll take care of it on my own too. it’s fine, hyung. you can leave now too.”

it took a lot of willpower for chan to stop himself from cutting jeongin from his rambling and just crash his lips against the younger’s pair mid-sentence, while still processing the notion that the person he has been hopelessly pining on for months likes him back.

he only woke up from his trance when he heard Jeongin emitted a deep sigh and pulled away from the embrace, giving the elder the chance to leave. but chan didn’t let him. instead, the same strong arms tightened around the younger’s frame, fingers delicately tilting jeongin’s head to stare at him fully, noticing the slight blush adorning his chiselled cheekbones and the tears brimming his eyes. chan took his sweet time admiring the younger’s face, which earned him a confused look from jeongin. before jeongin could protest, chan finally closed the gap between them; lips pressing against the younger’s pair. _slowly, gently._

kissing chan’s lips are far better than anything jeongin have imagined, he figured. soft, like his favourite cushion and definitely sweet. the trace of cereal from their breakfast was still evident. it’s very sweet, but it’s nothing close to his favourite treats; _far, far better_. chan’s lips are something jeongin could see himself getting addicted to.

it took jeongin a while to respond and when he finally did, it brought a smile on chan’s lips because _fucking hell, he is so cute_. the latter didn’t pull back, basking in the warmth radiating from jeongin’s thin lips against his full ones. when jeongin moved, having the thought of finally kissing the man who has been pestering his mind nonstop and keeping him awake for nights sinks in, chan didn’t dither in swiping his tongue across the younger’s lower lip.

the kiss was perfect, slow and deliberate as if jeongin is porcelain and chan is afraid that the former would break if he’s not careful enough. still, they found themselves pouring out their feelings for each other. and it wasn’t smooth like those in the movies: their teeth clashed and bit each other’s lips, reaping giggles from both of them. nevertheless, it’s perfect. _because it’s bang chan jeongin is kissing_.

when they parted, both were left breathless but ecstatic. the elder took his chance to press his lips against the younger’s pair for a few more pecks before finally pulling back and catching his own breath.

“i have liked you for quite a while now, innie. i don’t know if you have noticed but… i have been trying to get your attention every chance i could get,” chan mumbled, still breathless from the rather intimate moment they shared. his words rang inside jeongin’s ears, clearly surprised from the elder’s revelation; albeit the kiss being an obvious attestation of the latter’s feelings, hearing it directly from the man he has been secretly in love with is still different.

jeongin tried racking his brain to search for any clues: from the frequent cuddling and hand-holding session to the lingering touches, tight hugs, innocent and platonic kisses chan left on his head and sometimes on his cheeks, the thoughtful gestures, the random sweet messages, friendly ‘dates’ which included chan asking jeongin to grab a meal with him. 

it all clicked now. all those times were the same moments jeongin spent trying to not give other meanings to his hyungs actions, other than _‘i am just a maknae’_. it was the same moments jeongin tried silencing his heart because _there is no way in hell his chan hyung would see him that way_.

but here they are, all tangled in the sheets with their lips pressing every minute or two as if they can’t get enough of each other. sharing quiet giggles and equally tight hugs. they have yet to talk about their relationship status but they have plenty of time to figure that out.

when their hearts finally calmed, both found themselves drifting off to their much-needed sleep, with jeongin safely tucked into chan’s tight and warm embrace.

 _everything fell into their rightful places_.

and it is safe to say that both missed the afternoon practice and received an earful from the members. not because they weren’t around but because **_fucking finally!_**


End file.
